Who is the expert on shyness and not having the right to judge others?

This is true. Telling someone to stop doing something will automatically cause a person to want to do this thing more. EX. I tell you don't think about a purple giant with whiskers that can only say I love you, you will automatically try to picture it or at least think of it. So to tell a crying person to stop crying will only make them want to keep crying. Plus calling them a name would of course make them feel worse. You should help them try to get out of what they are going through.